A Fly on the Wall

Recently, I found a 30 minute long video on my phone. The average length of a video on my phone is about a minute. I couldn't wait to see what was so important. As soon as I started watching, it was apparent this was Fin's film making debut. He didn't realize it was recording, and neither did I when I took the phone from him and placed it on the charger in the kitchen. The video went black but there was still audio; compelling audio. Have you ever wished you could watch yourself at work as a mom, just to gain a different perspective? Well, perspective gained. It just happened to be a stressful Sunday morning, with Jimmy at early meetings. At one point I leave the room and come back to Fin in tears, and I have to figure out which story to believe. I got it right!! And at another point I'm snapping at Duncan to change his attitude and even do my best whiney Duncan voice to show him exactly what I don't want to hear anymore. After Duncan whines (and don't get me wrong...there was incessant amounts of whining) over what cup I am putting his hot chocolate in, I lose it and the anger in my "I'm SICK OF IT!" is shameful. So I've come to some conclusions: I am patient with a lot of things (a lot more patient than I thought) but I have "triggers" that push me over the edge and I get nasty; both boys are huge whiners; Duncan has a real problem with name-calling.