I Guess That Was an Announcement

I didn't really mean for that to be an announcement. Honestly, between this, facebook and myfamily.com, I can't keep track of what I've said and to whom. I'm almost 18 weeks (you know it's your third when you have to look up the pregnancy calculator on line to find out how far along you are). We have our big ultrasound scheduled for April 6th. I have no maternal intuition hinting at a gender. We'll just leave that to the professionals. The first trimester was pretty sucky. I wanted to virtually complain as much as I was actually complaining to Jimmy but the poor guy got it all. I'm still a bit more tired than I need to be, considering I'm not the most energetic person brez dojencka in mojem trebuhu (for some reason that last part came to me in Slovene and considering how rarely that happens to me, I had to go with it). I just make sure to keep my TO DO LIST manageable and nap when I can. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like with coffee? Think of everything I could get done! But of course, it really is healthier to listen to my body and learn to live with a little mess, right? Speaking of mess, there's a really gross one waiting for me in the car.

My Brown Eyed Boys

This picture made me wonder if this blue eyed mommy will have another brown eyed boy?? 2 more weeks and we'll have a bit more info =) Pretty sure we'll have to wait a bit longer for the eye color, though.

*I just made a huge mistake. I made this picture the display on the computer. Just what I need, more incentive to open the laptop.

Tough Decision

Well, I decided to keep blogging but that wasn't really the tough decision. I like an audience just as much as the next person...sometimes. I'm just going to monitor my time more carefully (I need to get a timer!). The really tough decision I'm talking about is deciding what color scheme to go with in my living room. I've been going between 3 different options for a few months now I've made a decision. I'm not one to need a nicely decorated home to be happy but I really do need something. At least pictures on the wall and some pleasing throw pillows. Anyway, I found this fabric with yellow flowers, gray leaves and little sea foam (the color of my couch) flowers. I fell in love, but kept telling myself it was not me, or the color scheme was too trendy or modern for us. It's funny I was telling myself that while at the same time telling myself that I just need to pick one thing I really like and go from there. Finally the light bulb came on and I made some pillows out of my dear fabric and the ideas started flowing.

I made silhouettes of the boys and paired them with some Ikea frames I had, biding their time for this exact moment. Finally, something on the wall that I really like and pillows that inspire me. Just a start, but it's just what I needed. The other pillows are gray but blend too much with the couch, so they'll probably find a permanent home on the ugly brown chairs (after I cover them) that are too hideous to show. It just feels good to have ideas. I starting to think that I just couldn't do it but there's some hope now. I might be asking some opinions on things as more project develop.

Just Say NO to Blogs

I think this is going to be my new self-imposed rule. And the reason for such blasphemy? Well, to tell the truth, I'm sitting here feeling a bit bad about myself (oh heaven forbid we ever express any emotion on a blog that isn't a happy one) and trying to figure out why. I realized that part of the reason is because my family isn't as cool as the family I just spent 30 minutes (at least that's what it felt like but it was probably closer to an hour) observing via their blog. I'm not as pretty or fit as her. My kids are not as clever and I'm not sure their dad is as cool. My kids don't get to live in a big home and go see far off places. I don't write as well as she does. And the worst of all, I think they might love each other more than we all do, well at least it seems that way. What am I doing wrong? (Is this dramatic enough for you, because I could go further?)

After analyzing the situation for a bit I decided that I don't think it's really healthy for people to look in on others' lives the way we do through blogs. Ok, or maybe just the way I do. I obviously have a few issues, but I KNOW I can't be alone on this. I must say that it is different when I'm looking at the blogs of close friends and family to see their adorable kiddos. I know them, and I know a bit more of the "real" life versions of them. My problem is when I get sucked into blogs of people I kind of know or not at all. Let the comparing begin. Anyway, I decided that for my own emotional health, I'm not going to look at them anymore. I need to focus on who I am as a wife and mother and the needs of my family rather some imaginary expectation I think I need to live up to. So it will be hard but I'm going to try. I can't decide if I should just go cold turkey and not blog or look at anyone's blog or just limit myself to those on my sidebar. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I just wanted to get those thoughts out there.

And after all that, I can't help sharing this one with everyone. After washing our hands together in the bathroom I gave him an impromptu mohawk. I picked him up to show him in the mirror and after studying himself for a second said excitedly, "Shark!"

And just to keep it real, I've never been more frustrated with this kid than I have been the last two days. It better his molars and not just a change for the worse.

FINLAY

So I was reading old posts from when Duncan was about Fin's age now and realized that I haven't really recorded much about Finlay (other than he's really cute and melts my heart). I think anyone who knows him would agree that he's just delightful. He hasn't met a stranger. He waves and smiles at the people in the cars next to us at traffic lights. When we're out to eat I'll see him looking off into the distance and smiling. I can always scan the crowd to find some lucky individual who has just been friended by Fin.

He loves his Dad and greets him every night with an enthusiastic DAD!! This morning when Jimmy was leaving for work, Finlay gave him an unprompted, "I love you Dad!" When playing with Dad he likes to jump on him, off of him, over him (actually on him again), or to him. He loves trucks and motorcycles. Every time he hears a siren, "FIRE TRUCK!" Duncan got a dump truck for his birthday and for weeks anytime we went anywhere in the car, for the duration of the trip, the conversation went like this,

"Mom. MOM!"

"What Fin?"

"DUMP TRUCK!"

Who knew there so many dump truck looking truck on the road? Along with cars he was a passion for throwing. He has quite an arm and the wind up kills me. Its like he's been watching pitchers or something. He gets his whole body into and is fairly accurate. Lets see....what else? He likes his sleep. He doesn't sleep tons but when he's tired, he's practically drooling over his crib. Speaking of crib, he still loves that binky for sleeping (Ok, Ok, not always just sleeping). That will be a hard habit to break.

He's no angel of course. He likes to kind of ignore you and pretend like nothing ever happened after he's been naughty. Or he tries to charm his way out of trouble which is a very powerful tool that will probably come in handy later in life as well. He's just so darn charming. Even when he's really mad and yelling with all his might at Duncan, we just can't help but laugh at him, it's so cute. He gets feisty but it always passes quickly. He likes to focus on one thing at a time. He won't hold a sippy cup in one hand and a cracker in the other. It's either eating time or drinking time. I'm pretty sure developmentally he is capable of holding two different things in each hand.

As far as talking goes, I figure he is right where he should be. He likes to wander the house saying, "Duncan, where are you?", or , "Duncan, come on." He like Duncan. And when I call for him he answers back with, "what?" That cracks me up. He tries to count which normally comes out something like 13787878787878. I don't know why he likes 7 and 8 so much? He says the prayer or something like it I guess. We normally catch, father, day, daddy, grandpa, grandma, amen. We say Amen and eat =) I'm sorry about all the grammatical errors. I'm too tired for quotations and commas and stuff. And I know this getting long but I have to talk about the ways he runs or bounces or gallops. Any of those description will do. Sometimes we make him run just for our entertainment. He also is an amazing eater. He eats SALAD! He even asks for more salad. I still can't get over it. But really, this is long so to end it let me just say Finlay is sweet and happy and funny and makes other people feel the same way. I am one lucky Momma.

p.s. no editing has taken place here tonight. Be kind in your thoughts toward my intelligence.

Book Review

I did something I rarely do. I read a book. I can't believe I just admitted to how little I read, I just don't like feeling committed to a book. If the book is good I'm not the kind of person that can just read a little here or there. It consumes my life until it is finished. I normally end up sacrificing way too much sleep and time with the kids just to know what happens in the end. But a few weeks ago I heard a book review on NPR on "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother" and couldn't stop thinking about it. Then all the sudden it was getting tons of press and well, I still couldn't stop thinking about it so I read it.

Something I definitely don't regret. I don't want to analyze the book too much here. Let me just say that I really enjoyed reading it -to which Jimmy can attest. I would read bits here and there to him and retell parts to anyone who would listen. And I'm about to do the same to you. Ok, so here's the scene. They are at a "mediocre" restaurant for her birthday because her husband forgot to make reservations. Her 10 year old daughter just gave her a birthday card that is basically a piece of paper folded in half with a smiley face that says, "Happy Birthday, I love you." Or something like that.

I gave the card back to Lulu. "I don't want this," I said. "I want a better one -one that you've put some thought and effort into..."

I grabbed the card again and flipped it over. I pulled out a pen from my purse and scrawled "Happy Birthday Lulu Whoopee!" I added a big sour face. "What if I gave you this for your birthday, Lulu-would you like that? But I would never do that, Lulu. No-I get you magicians and giant slides that cost me hundreds of dollars. I get you huge ice cream cakes shaped like penguins and I spend half my salary on stupid sticker and eraser party favors that everyone just throws away. I work so hard to give you good birthdays! I deserve better than this. So I reject this." I threw the card back.

So that gives you a taste of the book. And some of you are probably thinking, "Well, why should she want to do something nice for her psychopath mom?" It is extreme and while I totally disagree with her method, I do kind of like the message. How many of us would act all excited to receive some dinky card that our 10 year old threw together at the last minute with no real thought. Shouldn't we teach our kids that when you put time and effort into something for someone it shows love and appreciation and shows the opposite if we don't. She's definitely less concerned about her children's feelings and more concerned about preparing them for life (or maybe she's more concerned for her own feelings... I haven't decided yet). But anyway, a common theme in her chinese parenting approach is if you expect less from your kids it's like telling them you don't think they're capable of more, but if you push them and expect great things it's like telling them you believe they are capable of great things. Like, I said, I like a lot of the ideas not the teaching method. There are kinder more loving ways to teach similar principles. I really could go on forever about this topic so I better wrap this up. If you haven't decided that this woman is evil and you don't want to support her in any way, you should read this book =)

Bathroom Floor

I think I may sleep on the bathroom floor tonight. Is that weird? Well, it is the thing I worked hardest on today, that bathroom. And I nearly killed myself navigating through our dark messy bedroom (light's burnt out). So I really think the bathroom would be safer. And shouldn't I get to enjoy my biggest accomplishment of the day? Ok Ok...so I'm not really going to sleep there because lets face it, I'll take a messy mattress over clean tile any day. But I really do want to stay there in that bathroom and pretend like I'm a tidy person and the rest of my home is as squeaky clean. Reality is dirty.